A Lie and Two Truths
by hayairei
Summary: Aizawa and his inner turmoils, mostly caused by a certain staff-leader.
1. His Turmoils

Title: A Lie and Two Truths

Pairing: Aizawa/Shiraishi

Summary: Aizawa and his inner turmoils, mostly caused by a certain staff-leader.

Notes: I was trying to get back to writing and continue all my stories (and write new ones) when I found the prompt in the title! Also this is quite different from what I have written so far but I want the challenge and I learn a lot from writing this. I hope you guys enjoy this very short drabble!

* * *

Words are everlasting. Even when time changes and the meaning behind fades.

Maybe that's why he usually opts not to say a lot of it.

He's scared of forever and what it could do to him. When he said something though, it's comprised of truth as he saw no purpose in conveying lies.

 _"I'm sorry. I have no intention of returning to lifesaving."_

That was supposed to be the truth, but why is he finding himself sounding like more of a liar as time goes by?

Maybe he's afraid of the the way her eyes pierce through his, knocking on every door possible.

He pretends not to hear it.

It's an endless abyss of escape, what he's running from he didn't even know.

He's a man of resolve, what his brain puts him to do he sees the end of it as there's nothing holding him back.

He likes it, the unchained wings of freedom he's always lived with.

He'll by no means live by anybody else's belief let alone be concerned of what people think of him.

He's never shaken, always knew what he wants.

He knows where he belongs (sort of).

He learnt to find serenity in the ground of predictables but he can't deny he'd also find the excitement of unthinkables he heard from her stories reaching out to his soul as it always did.

He barely manages to restrain himself thinking it's for the greater good at the cost of what he didn't know important, _at least the result spoke millions,_ he thought as he consoles himself.

But a mere glimpse of her forlorn expression sends his resolve crumbling.

He couldn't help but be of help to her, delivering a ray of hope he didn't intend to. As the lives of the people unceremoniously defeat his willpower one way or another, he still attempts to run.

And finally the heavens decided to reprimand him in the form of her helpless plea, urging his insides to break free from the fortress he built himself.

 _"That's enough. I understood. I will go to the scene."_

He gives in, letting her desperation tore down the last bit of defense he supposedly have.

It's almost as if warmth envelopes his whole-being and he's reborn, the wind caressing his face brought all the memories etched on his brain.

He decides it's time to stop deceiving himself. He's going back to be the honest man he is, whatever the consequences are.

He doesn't know where he's going but somehow he places a great deal of faith in the power of words for once to guide him.

 _"You're interesting."_

He just hopes that _she_ will understand.


	2. His Idle Turmoils

Notes: So here's another small gift for everyone regarding the fic festival, (I'm still so over the world btw I couldn't believe lol). I wanted to challenge myself to write more of Aizawa's perspective and I would be posting them here! This chapter was actually prompted by a picture Yamapi uploaded on his Jweb of In Hand, but he's in blue scrubs so my trashy brain (backed up by Kris' support) think this should really happen in CB universe— and voila, this was born. Set on the three weeks blank period on the movie.

* * *

He supposes he doesn't know why he's doing this. _(It's a lie)_

He's standing idly, back leaning on the hospital wall, waist briefly encountering the railing etched in its middle in front of the operation room. It's a very unusual sight for the hospital regulars and people— mostly staff, fellow doctors, in short, ones that know him, give him wondering looks. After all being not busy is a leisure as a doctor, moreover one who tends to emergency. He feigns ignorance, but he knows he's lying to himself if he says he's not feeling conscious of the stares.

He tries to shake the awkwardness by taking his personal phone out, and once again confirming the time. He then checks his messages and emails and try replying to them, which is not much at all— a message from Fujikawa two days ago he forgot to reply, which he doesn't actually reply, some junk mails from his dead social media which he immediately deletes, and a long nagging message from Shiraishi that evokes a slight change in his expression.

He unconsciously let out a small smile, realizing he's actually blessed. When he's aware of what he did though, he coughs, trying to put all the butterflies he's feeling at the back of his mind. He isn't some high-school girl who just got a message from his crush and yet, the truth is he senses happiness growing in him.

He then sighs inwardly, wishing for the time to pass faster.

He pockets away the phone and proceeds to fold his arms in front of his chest, eyes wandering around the vicinity. He sees the people waiting in front of the operation room, full of worries and fears, unlike him. He's too used to it he's already numb, he thinks. He's glad he's there for a completely different reason, but he feels it— their sorrows. He wishes the best for them in his heart, but he doesn't let it get to his head.

When the sliding door of the operation room moves, his attention differs, hands down the chest as he stands rightfully. His eyes met hers and his feet spontaneously measures towards her whole being, gravity attracting them to each other. She only mouths an 'o' with a twinkle in her eyes, showing how pleasantly surprised she is finding him already waiting for her, and smiles. Without knowing, the rhythm of their steps synchronize as they both stand too close to each other, walking side by side en route to the hospital cafeteria.

He can hear the faint murmur behind their backs, but he honestly doesn't care. He's just glad he can salvage the time left he has, together with her.

* * *

Bonus:

It's finally over, the emergency operation that began just two hours before the shift ends. Yokomine let out an exclamation of joy, expressing her happiness that she could finally go home. She's going straight ahead to the locker room, meaning to immediately change into her street clothes. But the sight in front of her stops her dead in her tracks, and she can only think her eyes are deceiving her. Natori bumps into her back as she stills suddenly, but she can't feel the pain.

"Why did you suddenly stop—" he nearly curses, but as he follows in the direction of her stare, he keeps mum. He merely whisks his phone from god knows where, and records the happening unto it.

"Aizawa- _sensei,_ and Shiraishi- _sensei…_ "

Yokomine is too lost, trying to find her words but to no avail.

"Ssshhh, we need this recorded in high quality."

And Natori manages his priorities right, despite not really comprehending what's actually happening.


End file.
